What should you do when your folks aren't enthusiastic about your choice of major? Should you take classes on the sly? Submit yourself to two years of martyrdom? Negotiating a major that works well for you and your family is possible without resorting to extreme measures. Here are some tips.
Avoid Emotional Appeals
Unless such tactics have proven effective in the past, this approach is unlikely
to be helpful. Most parents feel that they know what's best for their children
and any emotional reaction, however sincere, will probably confirm their belief
that you are too immature to make important decisions for yourself.
Lead with Facts
By engaging in a little research you can help assuage parental anxieties about
the ramifications of your choice. To refute the myth that liberal arts majors
don't prepare students for real world positions, present your parents with some
of the What Can I Do With a Major in..? data
from previous years' classes. The employer and title sections illustrate the
fact that there is little correlation between majors and careers. Real
life profiles of students who transitioned from their major into seemingly
unrelated fields emphasize the importance of experiential activities, such as
internships over major. Mention
that maintaining a high GPA is easier if you enjoy and are skilled at what you're
studying, and if you're planning to eventually attend graduate school, a 2.6
in a so-called practical major won't boost your candidacy. Be careful to select
facts that support your argument. Organize your thoughts ahead of time, and
get them down on paper.
Develop an Action Plan
Create a timeline that highlights your yearly goals. Are you planning to join
a student organization? Volunteer at a local health clinic or museum? Write
an honor's thesis? Discuss how each action will benefit you in the future. Even
if your plans change, your parents will be impressed with your ability to think
ahead.
Get Them Involved
Engaging your parents in the decision-making process will help them to learn
firsthand about the diverse academic and career options available at Berkeley.
Communicate what you learn in workshops and advising appointments, and how you
plan to act on what you've learned to advance your career goals. If necessary,
you might allow them to accompany you to a session with a career
counselor. If they can't visit Berkeley, offer them information pamphlets
about the academic and extracurricular activities in which you plan to participate.
If All Else Fails…
Angela ('97) lost the battle with her parents over major. They gave her an ultimatum:
choose economics, or forget about her tuition. After a few frustrating weeks
of trying to convince them to let her decide, Angela relented. She majored in
economics, but chose a minor in psychology. This compromise helped her feel
balanced, and after graduation she decided to pursue her dream of becoming a
therapist. Although she still resents her parents' intervention, she now believes
that her background in economics will help her establish a successful private
practice.
